"In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke."

"An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup."

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

"God knows I had not wanted to fall in love with her. I had not wanted to fall in love with any one. But God knows I had and I lay on the bed in the room of the hospital in Milan and all sorts of things went through my head but I felt wonderful..."

"Helloooo? I just made some changes in my life, and if I don't get back to you as soon as possible, then guess what? You were one of those changes."

"I wouldn't marry Giddon to save my life," Katsa said. "Not even to save yours.""Well." Raffin's eyes were full of laughter. "I'd leave that part out."

"Well you seemed too busy to call him a prat and I thought someone should."

"I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that."

"Colin decided then and there that the female mind was a strange and incomprehensible organ - one which no man should even attempt to understand. There wasn't a woman alive who could go from point A to B without stopping at C, D, X, and 12 along the way."

"Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty."

"I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck."

"My brain? That's my second favorite organ."

"My muscles informed me they did not want to go through any more exercise today. So I suggest that maybe he should let me off this time. He laughed, and I'm pretty sure it was at me...not with me. "Why is that funny?" "Oh," he said, his smile dropping. "You were serious.""Of course I was! Look, I've technically been awake for two days. Why do we have to start this training now? Let me go to bed." I whined. "It's just one hour.""How do you feel right now?""I hurt like hell.""You'll feel worse tomorrow.""So?""So, better get a jump on it while you still feel...not as bad.""What kind of logic is that?" I retorted."

"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."

"There’s a fine line between support and stalking and let’s all stay on the right side of that."

"You can laugh! But people used to believe there were no such things as the Blibbering Humdinger or the Crumple-Horned Snorkack!"

"Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck"

"I liked you, cop. From the moment I met you. No… not the first moment. I wanted to kill you when I first met you. But then I liked you. A lot."

"They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat. "Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper. "Make Harry get it.""Get the mail, Harry.""Make Dudley get it.""Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley."

"If you need help bark like a dog." - Gendry. "That's stupid. If I need help I'll shout help." - Arya"

"My dad used to say that life's a journey, but somebody screwed up and lost the map."

"But this room looked like it had been decorated by the unholy lovechild of Barbie and Strawberry Shortcake."