"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."

"Are you always a smartass?'Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep."

"It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up."

"I like men who have a future and women who have a past."

"As long as we don't die, this is gonna be one hell of a story."

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward."

"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune"

"As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?"

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence"

"It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget."

"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings."

"Write what you know. That should leave you with a lot of free time."

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."

"The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon."

"Puns are the highest form of literature."

"Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up?"All the time."

"It takes a lot of time to be a genius. You have to sit around so much, doing nothing, really doing nothing."

"Rachel: You're a half-blood, too?Annabeth: Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about?Rachel: Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god!...They don't seem to care."

"Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit."

"I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me."

"He cleared his throat and held up one hand dramatically.“Green grass breaks through snow. Artemis pleads for my help. He grinned at us, waiting for applause. "That last line was four syllables.” Artemis said. Apollo frowned. “Was it?” “No, no, that’s six syllable, hhhm.” He started muttering to himself. That’s five syllables!” He bowed, looking very pleased with himself."