"You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch."

"I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God."

"You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch."

"I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God."

"You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch."

"I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God."

"You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch."

"I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God."

"You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch."

"I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God."

"A toast, Jedediah, to love on my terms. Those are the only terms anybody ever knows - his own."