"So much good, so much evil. Just add water."

"When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."

"She talks like you. It’s not every day you hear a four-year-old say Prince Charming is a douchebag who’s only holding Cinderella back.” "That’s my girl."

"Can't stay long, Mother," he said. "I'm up front, the prefects have got two compartments to themselves-""Oh, are you a prefect, Percy?" said one of the twins, with an air of great surprise. "You should have said something, we had no idea.""Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it," said the other twin. "Once-""Or twice-""A minute-""All summer-""Oh, shut up," said Percy the Prefect."

"We’ll never survive!” “Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has."

"I'm sure I'll feel much more grateful when I find a guy who thinks complex wiring in a girl is a turn-on."

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."

"Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said. 'One can't believe impossible things.'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. There goes the shawl again!"

"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."

"Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character."

"Look, did you ask me to come all the way uptown just so you could stare at me like I was something in a petri dish? Next time I'll send you a photo.""And I'll frame it and put it on my nightstand," said Jace."

"I mean, really. Who sends their kid to boarding school? It's so Hogwarts. Only mine doesn't have cute boy wizards or magic candy or flying lessons."

"I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I'm under the table,after four I'm under my host."

"Anyone can speak Troll. All you have to do is point and grunt."

"I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!"

"I have lightning and wind powers," Jason reminded him. "Piper can turn beautiful and charm people into giving her BMWs. You're no more a freak than we are. And, hey, maybe you can fly, too. Like jump off a building and yell 'Flame on!'"Leo snorted. "If I did that, you would see a flaming kid falling to his death, and I would be yelling something a little stronger than 'Flame on!"

"When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout."

"So it's true. You can walk in sunlight. I thought perhaps it might have worn off.""If I feel the urge to burst into flames, I'll let you know."

"Look at me!Look at me!Look at me NOW!It is fun to have funBut you have to know how."

"Also, I'm sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know."

"Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another."

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."