Famous Quotes

"Writers don't make any money at all. We make about a dollar. It is terrible. But then again we don't work either. We sit around in our underwear until noon then go downstairs and make coffee, fry some eggs, read the paper, read part of a book, smell the book, wonder if perhaps we ourselves should work on our book, smell the book again, throw the book across the room because we are quite jealous that any other person wrote a book, feel terribly guilty about throwing the schmuck's book across the room because we secretly wonder if God in heaven noticed our evil jealousy, or worse, our laziness. We then lie across the couch facedown and mumble to God to forgive us because we are secretly afraid He is going to dry up all our words because we envied another man's stupid words. And for this, as I said, we are paid a dollar. We are worth so much more."

"Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together."

"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."

"I died. I died and someone made a clerical error and I am in Heaven."

"I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja."

"Speak in French when you can’t think of the English for a thing--turn your toes out when you walk---And remember who you are!"

"I swear, my dear. Sometimes our conversations remind me of a broken sword."She raised an eyebrow."Sharp as hell," Lightsong said, "but lacking a point."

"When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy."

"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."

"You're Valentine's son. I'm sure you're the one the Queen really wants to see. Besides, you're charming. Maybe not at the moment."

"I don't think you should be an Auror, Harry," said Luna unexpectedly. Everybody looked at her. "The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They're working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a mixture of dark magic and gum disease."

"When in doubt, look intelligent."

"It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin."

"I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food"

"Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent."

"As it turned out, everyone wanted a doughnut. Jace wanted two."

"Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?' 'To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.' 'The dog did nothing in the night-time.''That was the curious incident,' remarked Sherlock Holmes."

"When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first, that way in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side."

"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."

"Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me.No hope, no harm; just another false alarm"

"why can't you see i'm a kid', said the kid.Why try to make me like you?Why are you hurt when I don't cuddle?Why do you sigh when I splash through a puddle?Why do you scream when I do what I did?Im a kid."

"I might have known,” said Eeyore. “After all, one can’t complain. I have my friends. Somebody spoke to me only yesterday. And was it last week or the week before that Rabbit bumped into me and said ‘Bother!’. The Social Round. Always something going on."