Famous Quotes

"The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies."

"Perhaps I can stay by the fire and mend your socks and scream if I hear any strange noises."

"I’ve been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library."

"I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I am dumb enough to try anything."

"Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both."

"Bad news, Harry. I've just been to see Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt. She – er, got a bit shirty with me. Told me I'd got my priorities wrong. Seemed to think I cared more about winning the Cup than I do about staying alive. Just because I told her I didn't care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch first."

"Gym should be illegal. It's humiliating."

"They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me."

"Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."

"You're not a woman," he said finally. "You're the Grim Reaper with red hair!"

"Leaving us with Eric is like hiring a babysitter who spends his time sharpening knives."

"Just give me a second. Attempting to give a fuck...Attempting harder to give a fuck...Sorry, there was an error; fuck not given."

"Any fool can make a ruleAnd any fool will mind it."

"25 And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying 'Where is the flaming sword that was given unto thee?'26 And the Angel said, 'I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down some where, forget my own head next.'27 And the Lord did not ask him again."

"That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them."

"My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world."

"There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'""The mood will pass, sir."

"Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad."

"Name the different kinds of people,’ said Miss Lupescu. ‘Now.’Bod thought for a moment. ‘The living,’ he said. ‘Er. The dead.’ He stopped. Then, ‘... Cats?’ he offered, uncertainly."

"Ah, pay no heed if your enemies laugh. They'll not be able to once you lop off their heads."

"A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it."

"An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them."