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"No adolescent ever wants to be understood, which is why they complain about being misunderstood all the time."

"I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital."

"Ooh..I want one" - BexThey're not puppies." -Cammie"

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."

"So the first thing we're gonna do," I told him, "is push you off the roof."

"If I ever form a clan, we'll be the anti-cheerleaders and walk under the bleacher forming mild acts of mayhem."

"I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity."

"I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic."

"rolf! what? are you really rolling on the floor laughing? well, please stay down there for a sec while I KICK YOUR ASS."

"The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?"

"Adam's response was buried in the sound of the first-story door falling open. Noah slouched in. In a wounded tone, he said, "He threw me out the window!"Ronan's voice sang out from behind his closed door: "You're already dead!"

"Cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight."

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where’s the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

"I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me."

"You wanna go build some shelves with me?"

"The magician stood erect, menacing the attackers with demons, metamorphoses, paralyzing ailments, and secret judo holds. Molly picked up a rock."

"Oh! it is absurd to have a hard-and-fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn't. More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read."

"if something is there, you can only see it with your eyes open, but if it isn't there, you can see it just as well with your eyes closed. That's why imaginary things are often easier to see than real ones."

"It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."

"You did not just say that. I have a feeling we're on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other."

"An elite confederacy of nerds. My peeps"

"We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart."

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