Famous Quotes

"Grown ups are complicated creatures, full of quirks and secrets."

"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know."

"How did you become blind, uh, Jeff is it?"Yeah, Jeff. Well, I looked directly at the sun, you know, the way they always tell you not to. If only I had listened."

"It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal."

"I quote others only in order the better to express myself."

"I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine."

"Reyna sent me to get Percy," Frank said. "Did Octavian accept you?""Yeah," Percy said. "He slaughtered my panda."

"What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize."

"A gun. I had been brought down by a gun. It was practically comical. Cheaters, I thought."

"I heard the man and woman cry a warning as I frantically racked my brain for some sort of throat-repairing spell, which I was clearly about to need. Of course the only words that I actually managed to yell at the werewolf as he ran at me were, 'BAD DOG!'Then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a flash of blue light on my left. Suddenly, the werewolf seemed to smack into an invisible wall just inches in front of me...."You know," someone said off to my left, "I usually find a blocking spell to be a lot more effective than yelling 'Bad dog,' but maybe that's just me."

"Poison!" Grover yelped. "Don't let those things touch you or...""Or we'll die?" I guessed."Well...after you shrivel slowly to dust, yes.""Let's avoid the swords," I decided."

"Student: Dr. Einstein, Aren't these the same questions as last year's [physics] final exam?Dr. Einstein: Yes; But this year the answers are different."

"Carpe Scrotum. Seize life by the testicles"

"How is it possible to have a civil war?"

"I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes."

"I am your Prince and you will marry me," Humperdinck said.Buttercup whispered, "I am your servant and I refuse.""I am you Prince and you cannot refuse.""I am your loyal servant and I just did.""Refusal means death.""Kill me then."

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife."

"Delaying death is one of my favorite hobbies"

"Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs."

"There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle."That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed."It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed."

"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do just as well — you just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference."

"I should never be left alone with my mind for too long."