Famous Quotes

"Don't bite off more than you can chew because nobody looks attractive spitting it back out."

"You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders. Yeah! Every time somebody get shut we’d say, ‘Damn, he must have done something ... Shit, he’s got fifty thousand dollars worth of bullets in his ass.’And people would think before they killed somebody if a bullet cost five thousand dollars. ‘Man I would blow your fucking head off…if I could afford it.’ ‘I’m gonna get me another job, I’m going to start saving some money, and you’re a dead man. You’d better hope I can’t get no bullets on layaway.’So even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you wouldn't have to go to no doctor to get it taken out. Whoever shot you would take their bullet back, like "I believe you got my property."

"Tacos.""Tacos?" I echoed.This seemed to amuse him. "Tomatoes, lettuce, cheese.""I know what a taco is!"

"She shrugs."Men""Men.""If we can send one man to the moon, why can't we send them all there?"

"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"Let me ask you a question Alex. What do you think is the greatest evil on this plant today?""Is that including, or not including you?"

"A tiger only needs three things to be comfortable. Lots of food, sleep, and…actually, no it’s just those two things."

"Once, when a religionist denounced me in unmeasured terms, I sent him a card saying, "I am sure you believe that I will go to hell when I die, and that once there I will suffer all the pains and tortures the sadistic ingenuity of your deity can devise and that this torture will continue forever. Isn't that enough for you? Do you have to call me bad names in addition?"

"The more excited I get, the more I vibrate.""Now there's a thought," Lor says."If you mean what I think you mean, you want to shut the fuck up and never think it again," Ryodan says."

"Why do people always expect authors to answer questions? I am an author because I want to ask questions. If I had answers, I'd be a politician."

"A friend is someone who knows where all your bodies are buried. Because they're the ones who helped you put them there."And sometimes, if you're really lucky, they help you dig them back up."

"I can't abide people who go soft over animals and then cheat every human they come across!"

"Well", Fang said, mimicking a thick Southern drawl. "I must say its mighty nice of them Daimons to clean up after themselves when you kill them" He held his hands up to them. "Look Ma, no mess.""Does Fang have an off switch?" Talon asked Vane."

"Someday is not a day of the week."

"She's so small, yet she contains so much evil."

"I'm a big believer in putting things off, In fact, I even put off procrastinating.-Ella Varner"

"If she can't spell, why is she a librarian? Librarians should know how to spell."

"Before I speak, I have something important to say."

"The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life."

"An alcoholic is someone you don't like, who drinks as much as you do."

"I have dozens of loyal fans! Baker's dozens! …they come in thirteens."

"A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?"