Famous Quotes

"... for most practical purposes, Tarbean had two parts: Waterside and Hillside. Waterside is where people are poor. That makes them beggars, thieves and whores. Hillside is where people are rich. That makes them solicitors, politicians and courtesans."

"Razo hopped back up and adopted a posture that said he was completely unruffled, never had been, and in fact was ready to do something manly like lift boulders or swallow live worms."

"Basically, all women are nurturers and healers, and all men are mental patients to varying degrees."

"Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental."

"Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?"

"And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very confusing."

"That's ridiculous." Especially the part about Christian being manly."

"Electricity is really just organized lightning"

"Merlin’s beard."

"Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake."

"I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!"

"The Prince found Buttercup waiting unhappily outside his chamber doors.It's my letter,' she began. 'I cannot make it right.'Come in, come in,' the Prince said gently. 'Maybe we can help you.' She sat down in the same chair as before. 'All right, I'll close my eyes and listen; read to me.'Westley, my passion, my sweet, my only my own. Come back, come back. I shall kill myself otherwise. Yours in torment, Buttercup.' She looked at Humperdinck. 'Well? Do you think I'm throwing myself at him?"

"Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)"

"I'd never met coffee that wasn't wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was."

"Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others."

"Who knew hitting my head and passing out would be so much fun?"

"With the world securely in order, Dain was able to devote the leisurely bath time to editing his mental dictionary. He removed his wife from the general category labeled "Females" and gave her a section of her own. He made a note that she didn't find him revolting, and proposed several explanations: (a) bad eyesight and faulty hearing, (b)a defect in a portion of her otherwise sound intellect, (c) an inherited Trent eccentricity, or (d) an act of God. Since the Almighty had not done him a single act of kindness in at least twenty-five years, Dain thought it was about bloody time, but he thanked his Heavenly Father all the same, and promised to be as good as he was capable of being."

"I am ever a gentle maiden," she shouted. "Damn if I'm not."

"As we all know, blinking lights means science."

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend, Griggs." Anson Choi feigns surprise. "What's her name?""I didn't actually catch her name," Griggs continues."Lily," Raffaela says over her shoulder and this time I give her a sideways look."Great to know that I'm in love with a girl with a cool name.""It's Taylor's middle name," Raffaela calls back again."

"When forced to leave my house for an extended period of time, I take my typewriter with me, and together we endure the wretchedness of passing through the X-ray scanner. The laptops roll merrily down the belt, while I’m instructed to stand aside and open my bag. To me it seems like a normal enough thing to be carrying, but the typewriter’s declining popularity arouses suspicion and I wind up eliciting the sort of reaction one might expect when traveling with a cannon.It’s a typewriter,’ I say. ‘You use it to write angry letters to airport security."

"I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money."