Famous Quotes

"People have an annoying habit of remembering things they shouldn't."

"Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool."

"I told Augustus the broad outline of my miracle: diagnosed with Stage IV thyroid cancer when I was thirteen. (I didn’t tell him that the diagnosis came three months after I got my first period. Like: Congratulations! You’re a woman. Now die.)"

"The world is a stage and the play is badly cast."

"Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared."

"French name, English accent, American school. Anna confused."

"There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends."

"If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!"

"I have a high pain threshold. In fact, it's more of a large and tastfully decorated foyer than a threshold. But I do get easily bored"

"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."

"Are you always a smartass?'Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep."

"It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up."

"I like men who have a future and women who have a past."

"As long as we don't die, this is gonna be one hell of a story."

"The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom."

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward."

"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune"

"As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?"

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence"

"It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget."

"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings."