Famous Quotes

"Finding a life partner is like choosing a bed. You need one as a friend either in times of health or sickness. Freshness or weariness. Happiness or sadness. And we can be certain that we've picked the right one without having to sleep with it first."

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

"I'd been willing to kill for the people I loved for a very long time"

"The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?"

"If you're anorexic, you're doing it wrong."I swat him with a dish towel. "No, no, I mean anorexics look in the mirror, and even if they're eighty pounds, they still see a fat girl. I'm a hundred pounds heavier than I was in high school, my veins are full of creme fraiche, and yet I look in the mirror, take in the hair and makeup, and think, Damn, baby, you fiiine."

"Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch."

"Don't mess with a wizard when he's wizarding!"

"Gimme an S! A T! An O! A C! Followed by a K-H-O-L-M! What's it spell? HEAD FUCK.- Jane"

"I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty."

"I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?"

"I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum"

"I like girls who eat Carrots. ~ Louis Tomlinson"

"I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote."

"Bite me, Harry Potter."

"The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed."

"You must have been going very fast.""I was, until I hit the fence."

"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished."

"Sed paused in his song, feeling ridiculous for singing it to her while they made love.“Baby, you realize this song is about Trey’s dead dog, don’t you?"

"Holly's theory about the army," Sharon explained.And what is it?" Denise asked, intrigued.Oh, that fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."

"If reassurances could dull pain, nobody would ever go to the trouble of pressing grapes."

"Sex is like air"

"Ask any guy if sex is important in a relationship and the one who says no is lying. I just haven't met that guy yet. When you meet him, let's get him in to the Smithsonian - he's that special and rare."