Famous Quotes

"And before you barrel through some idiotic Cosmo girl list of how-well-do-you-know-your-man questions, let me say that I don't know squat about him except that he kisses like a god and screws like a devil."

"Punctuation, is? fun!"

"Why should any guy want to be only friends with a girl? It’s like agreeing to be near a chocolate cake and never eat it. It’s like sitting in a racing car but not driving it."

"Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes."

"Total non-retention has kept my education from being a burden to me."

"You would be amazed how many magicians have died after being bitten by mad rabbits. It's far more common than you might think. -Angela the Herbalist"

"I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I've never even met."

"Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get."

"Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it."

"Go ahead. You're not going to walk in on anyone. I'm home alone.""The whole night?"Immediately, I realized it might not have been the smartest thing to say. "Dorothea will be coming soon." That was a lie. Dorothea was long gone. It was close to midnight."Dorothea?""Our housekeeper. She's old- but strong. Very strong." I tried to squeeze past him. Unsuccessfully."Sounds frightening," he said, retrieving the key from the lock. He held it out for me. "She can clean a toilet inside and out in under a minute. More like terrifying."

"Sydney spent a lot of time on my bed these days.Unfortunately, it wasn't with me."

"I feel like getting married, or committing suicide, or subscribing to L'Illustration. Something desperate, you know."

"To me, nudity is a joke. I don't think nude people are very attractive at all. I like my women fully clothed. I like to imagine what might be under there. It might not be the standard thing. Imagine, stripping a woman down, and she has a body like a little submarine. With periscope, propellers, torpedoes. That would be the one for me. I'd marry her right off and be faithful to the end."

"I think she just asked if she could touch my mango."

"If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?"

"Here," Myrnin said, his voice still gentle and low. "Amelie said you had to work. No one said you had to work alone." He picked up the next part and slotted it in, took the screwdriver from Claire's numbed fingers, and fastened it with a couple of deft, fast movements. "I'll be your hands."She wanted to cry, because it was so sweet, but it wouldn't do any good."

"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."

"Everyone knows revenge is a dish best served when you've had enough time to build up enough vitriol and fury."

"Unrequited love is so boring. Weeping under a blue-black sky is for suckers or maniacs."

"I didn't think about being king,” he said, his voice hoarse.Eddis stared. “Your capacity to land yourself in a mess because you didn't think first, Eugenides, will never cease to amaze me. What do you mean you didn't think about being king? Is Attolia going to marry you and move into my library?"

"Me," Artemis blurted. "I'm the nut."Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell."I'm the nut!" Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said."

"Cheeses crusty, got all musty, got damp on the stone of a peach,” I agreed. He looked blank, so I repeated it with proper emphasis. “ ChEEZ-zes crusty. Got Al -musty. Got DAMp on the StoneofapeaCH."