Famous Quotes

"Money isn't everything...but it ranks right up there with oxygen."

"No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session."

"It's difficult to see the glass ceiling because it's made of glass. Virtually invisible. What we need is for more birds to fly above it and shit all over it, so we can see it properly."

"Likest thou jelly within thy doughnut?"

"Women intrinsically understand human dynamics, and that makes them unstoppable. Unfortunately, the average man is less adroit at fostering such rivalries, which is why most men remain average; males are better at hating things that can't hate them back (e.g., lawnmowers, cats, the Denver Broncos, et cetera). They don't see the big picture."

"Ow! My brains!"

"How in the name of Merlin's pants have you managed to get your hands on those Horcrux books?"

"When I die of heart failure the next time you frighten me like that, you can put that on my gravestone—‘I didn’t mean to startle her."

"Do you know, sire, I think that if we live to tell our grandchildren about this war, they will accuse us of making it up.' -Marielle"

"Doctor, if being a bitch is healthy, then I am the healthiest damn woman on the face of the earth"

"Wild!" Ron said, twiddling the replay knob on the side. "I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again... and again... and again..."

"When jumping is the sole option, you jump, and try to make it work."

"Yeah, well, food's one of the five exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfigurations," said Ron, to general astonishment."

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."

"Butch tightened his grip on his cell and wished there were an app that let you reach through a phone and bitch slap someone."

"Is this one of those keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer things?""I though it was keep your friends close so you have someone to drive the car when you sneak over to your enemy's house at night and throw up in his mailbox."

"I wish we could make out in your bed."Noah sighed. "As do I, but I'm afraid we have ritual burning to conduct.""It's always something.""Isn't it though?"

"I have detected disturbances in the wash.''The wash?''The space-time wash.''Are we talking about some sort of Vogon laundromat, or what are we talking about?''Eddies in the space-time continuum.''Ah...is he. Is he.''What?''Er, who is Eddy, then, exactly?"

"Yeah you can have a word," said Harry savagely. "Good-bye."

"At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated."

"I like pink."Lucius sniffed. "It's just red's sorry, weak cousin."

"Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects."