Famous Quotes

"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."

"An empty stomach is not a good political adviser."

"When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn."

"I really believe, or want to believe, really I am nuts, otherwise I'll never be sane."

"I'm too young, too smart and too good-looking to die."

"I glanced up to see Liz and smiled. "Thank you." "I just went along for the ride. After that happened-" She waved at Derek. "You know how blind people need Seeing Eye dogs? Well, apparently werewolves could really use Opening Door poltergeists."

"Can you define "plan" as "a loose sequence of manifestly inadequate observations and conjectures, held together by panic, indecision, and ignorance"? If so, it was a very good plan."

"Hell may have all the best composers, but heaven has all the best choreographers."

"It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."

"Sigh"?"Eye roll"

"The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty."

"If you can't win by reason, go for volume."

"I feel ill," [Howl] announced. "I'm going to bed, where I may die."

"Succotash my cocker spaniel, you fudging crevasse-hole dipshiitake!"

"Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes up 99.99 percent of the universe, and they don't know what it is. Well I do. It's apathy. That's the truth of it; pile together everything we know and care about in the universe and it will still be nothing more than a tiny speck in the middle of a vast black ocean of Who Gives a Fuck."

"It is one of those lessons that every child should learn: Don't play with fire, sharp objects, or ancient artifacts."

"I hugged him without any kind of fear or self-consciousness, fiercely, with a rush of emotion that almost brought tears to my eyes."I could kiss you!" Chubs cried."Please don't!" I gasp out, feeling his arms tighten around my ribs to the point of cracking them."

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."

"The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind."

"You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither."

"Have you made any other friends since we've been here?"I gave him the death stare. "Yes, actually.""Who? I want a name.""Jamie Roth.""The Ebola kid? I heard he's a little unstable.""That was one incident."

"My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for."