Famous Quotes

"Astriola. That IS demon pox. You had evidence that demon pox existed and you didnt mention it to me! Et tu, Brute!' He rolled up the paper and hit Jem over the head with it."

"If you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison' it is certain to disagree with you sooner or later."

"We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are."

"I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland."

"I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself."

"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."

"How're we getting to King's Cross tomorrow, Dad?" asked Fred as they dug into a sumptuous pudding."The Ministry's providing a couple of cars," said Mr. Weasley.Everyone looked up at him."Why?" said Percy curiously."It's because of you, Perce," said George seriously. "And there'll be little flags on the hoods, with HB on them-""-for Humongous Bighead," said Fred."

"I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."

"I'm calm," Rachel insisted. "Every time I'm around you, some monsters attack us. What's to be nervous about?""Look," I said. "I'm sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you our or anything.""Nah. They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb.""Was it hard?" Annabeth asked."

"Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them."

"Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?""You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did."

"If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat."

"My kids are starting to notice I'm a little different from the other dads. "Why don't you have a straight job like everyone else?" they asked me the other day. I told them this story: In the forest, there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. Every day, the straight tree would say to the crooked tree, "Look at me...I'm tall, and I'm straight, and I'm handsome. Look at you...you're all crooked and bent over. No one wants to look at you." And they grew up in that forest together. And then one day the loggers came, and they saw the crooked tree and the straight tree, and they said, "Just cut the straight trees and leave the rest." So the loggers turned all the straight trees into lumber and toothpicks and paper. And the crooked tree is still there, growing stronger and stranger every day."

"He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower."

"You look lousy,' he said. Jace blinked. 'Seems an odd time to start an insult contest, but if you insist, I could probably think up something good.''No I mean it. You don't look good.''This is from a guy ho has all the sex appeal of a penguin. Look, I realize you may be jealous that the good Lord didn't deal you the same chiseled hand he dealt me, but that's no reason to-' 'I am not trying to insult you.' Simon snapped."

"Wait," I said as Noah slipped a book from a shelf and headed toward the door. "Where are you going?""To read?"But I don't want you to. "But I need to go home," I said, my eyes meeting his. "My parents are going to kill me.""Taken care of. You're at Sophie's house."I loved Sophie."So I'm...staying here?""Daniel's covering for you."I loved Daniel."Where's Katie?" I asked, trying to sound casual."Eliza's house."I loved Eliza."And your parents?" I asked."Some charity thing."I loved charity."So why are you going to read when I'm right here?"

"I feel like, like pudding," Iggy groaned. "Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain."

"I'm a poet, and I like my lies the way my mother used to make them."

"Everyone is a little crazy. The only difference between us and them is that they hide it better."

"She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts."

"So that's little Scorpious. Make sure you beat him in every test, Rosie. Thank god you've inherited your mother's brains."

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know."